time spent offline

Attention is a hot commodity in the new economy: The new economy doesn’t want your money— Just your attention. Mark Zuckerberg wants your attention. Elon Musk wants your attention. And even that person you went to high school with 13 years ago but rarely spoke with wants your attention. Everyone is dying to get your attention including me except you. You don’t seem to care much about your attention, to value it as much as Silicon Valley does. Or that person you went to high school with 13 years ago. You give it away freely, waste it on the most banal and useless things all day long day after day: Social media is banal and useless. Why are you so careless with your attention? Do you know what your attention, if reserved for important, necessary, useful things, can do for you?

Of course, the problem is you don’t have much important, necessary or even useful things in your life you deem worthy of your attention. Do you? Your spouse is annoying, work sucks, people are to be avoided at any cost— I mean dude have you seen the things these people tweet?— daily life grinds at you, and you don’t remember the last time you felt pure, ecstatic, life-affirming joy. The only relief you seem to get from your daily agony is when scrolling through Silicon Valley apps— Unlimited, free of cost escape in exchange for your attention. You will take it. What good is your attention if you have nothing important to pay attention to anyway? Everything and everyone sucks: That’s what the tweets are saying. You like, retweet, follow and keep scrolling: Looking for more misery to affirm your agony. You attention reserved for the lies they tell until they’re blue… check. And what do you get out of it? What do you get out of squandering your attention scrolling, tapping, liking, retweeting, hashtagging for hours on end?

Reality scales.

For many years, I squandering away my attention scrolling, tapping, liking, retweeting, hashtagging for hours on end. When I looked back there was nothing to show for all the time, energy, focus and attention I poured into Silicon Valley apps all those years; besides a few quotable memes and funny Vine videos. In 2017, at the same time I deleted social media and began my unplugging journey in earnest, I discovered the beautiful world of workout classes and began my fitness journey to pass time. At first it was agonizing the effort it took, and Reddit was still a tap away to keep me company all evening long instead of the 2+ hours it would take me to commute to the fitness studio, workout and commute back home. And sometimes the Reddit voice won. Except I began to notice I was comfortably miserable every time I let it win and stayed home scrolling. I also noticed no matter how much effort it took to get to class, at the end of it— breathless and drenched in sweat— I felt a sort of victory I have never felt before. The more I experienced this magic, the less and less the Reddit voice won. By 2022, there was no Reddit voice, or any voice for that matter, that could get between me and my workout classes.

“Your body is almost perfect,” she says to me at dinner recently. I smile coyly. After two years of dedicating my time, energy, focus and attention to squats, glute bridges, and jumping jacks, I look in the mirror and I love what I see. I love even more what my body is capable of doing when trained properly: My balance, endurance, and agility has improved greatly. I can do workouts and lift weights I used to think were impossible for my body to do. Even better is the mental benefits my physical training has gifted me: If you can endure 45-min HIIT workouts week after week, your endurance to handle bullshit at work or in life improves. I eat better too, out of respect for all the effort I put into working out consistently. All this is important, and far more important and worthy of my attention than what I used to squander my attention on back then: Silicon Valley apps. My attention is now reserved for important things, and fitness is one of them. It rewards me each time I show up to it.

I also reserve ample amounts of attention for people in reality; From those I cherish, love, and adore to strangers waiting to be loved. I listen intently and speak freely. Attention is a form of love. I also reserve a good amount of attention for myself. In a quiet corner of my apartment, I dedicate a couple hours upon waking up to reading a few pages and writing a few more in my journal: This is my life sustaining morning practice. No internet connection required. During my commutes, I reserve my attention for reading when the journey is long but I mostly just notice the people in the trains, streetcars, and buses all around me. I pay attention so I don’t miss a single moment of love, joy, and spite expressed all around me. It reminds me I am just like them, them like me. All the same. I notice until I’m intoxicated with reality. Reality is important and worthy of my attention.

What is your attention worth?