time spent offline

I made this list for anyone who is also bored of the average things to do offline lists cluttering Google. I know who writes those things, just between you and I, *whispers* ChatGPT *shudders.* It has to be AI generated to be so boring, robotic, uninspiring, repetitive. I, too, got bored of such advice and went looking for my own answers. This list is 100% algorithm-free and made with deep appreciation for time spent offline, from my many years of relentless pursuit to find the pleasures of the offline world. Take what you need, leave the rest. ❤

1. Do all your shopping offline. Yes, in stores. Yes, it will cost more. Yes, it is more time consuming. Nobody said time spent offline would be easy. I rarely shop online, preferring time spent flaneuring through grocery aisles, malls, thrift-stores, flea markets. Take my money, I will have my attention back.
2. Self-medicate with art
3. Read books. Books can take us on a journey of our heart’s wildest desires. We can fall in love, travel to exotic places, find inspiration to be the best we can be simply by reading novels, autobiographies, non-fictions, and so on. Get lost in a story. It is the easiest, perhaps the simplest way to treat our boredom, anxiousness, restlessness.
4. Become an amatuer reader, a lover of books. Read with genuine love, delight, joy. Read what Stephen King refers to as words you can eat with spoon. Quit books you don’t like. Quit books that feel tedious to read. Books you like will keep demanding your attention even when you are not spending time with them. You know you like a book when you read the last sentence and wish you could read it again for the first time. The more you read, the quicker you begin to identify such books.
5. Look up!
6. The library is an excellent source for reading physical books without hoarding them. Borrow, read/abandon, return: Repeat.
7. Cook without a recipe. Trust yourself enough to know how to make a simple meal using your senses and a dash of common sense. We are all adults here and should know how to make at least one meal without the aid of a recipe. Put on music and dance while chopping, sautéing, washing dishes.
8. If you must, dust off that cookbook your mom got you that one Christmas and use it. Preferably as a general guide. I promise you, the more you trust and use your senses, the better you get at cooking without recipes. Then one day, after the gym, you realize you’re craving spaghetti and go to the store to grab the ingredients you need and head home to make a simple meal without the algorithm taking up space.
9. Keep a device free bedroom. If you are bored, read a book or do crosswords, and if you are lucky, have sex and cuddle.
10. If you keep an online journal, return to tradition: Buy a notebook. Yes, it will mean having to hoard notebooks. Yes, they take up space. Nobody said time spent offline would be easy.
11. If you don’t keep a journal, please start. Journaling saved my life.
12. If you have a rough idea of how to get to a place, commit to not using your GPS until it is absolutely necessary. Trust your brain enough to get you places you have been to before without the aid of a machine— You would be surprised by how well your brain functions when it is allowed to do its job!
13. In-between moments, instead of reaching for your phone to scroll, do breathing exercises. Adjust your posture, breathe deeply through your nose, out through mouth. Repeat however many times. This will help relax your nervous system. The internet is a rage machine.
14. In-between moments, instead of reaching for your phone to scroll, do a body scan. Are your tense anywhere? You neck, shoulders? Relax your hands and feet. This goes really well with breathing exercise above.
15. In-between moments, instead of reaching for your phone to scroll, notice what is around you. Act like a tourist— No, act like a child without an iPad. What would a child do? Be curious. Look around. Stare at whatever catches your attention— including strangers. Make weird sounds and movements. Loudly sigh and complain about the injustice of boredom.
16. The best way to eat a meal is with a companion. If you cannot find a companion to eat with, let music keep you company while your taste buds rejoice in simple or complex flavours.
17. Sloooooooow down. Do everything slow. A lot of time remains when you go offline. Let the passage of time go noticed and appreciated. The more you slow down, the more time you spend on each activity, the less time remains to be filled.
18. Hell Yeah! or No. Do less, way less. Only what is essential. The “internet” is not essential.
19. Call someone you love. They probably love you too.
20. Call someone you miss. They probably miss you too.
21. Call someone that makes you laugh until your belly aches.
22. Grab a blanket, water, some fruits and nuts, a book if you fancy, throw it all in a bag and head to the park. Set your blanket under the biggest tree you can find and lay under. Count the leaves, notice the bugs, birds, and squirrels, lament about how long of a life a tree lives planted in one place.
23. Invite someone to join you. Count the leaves together.
24. Trees teach us two very important lessons about life. One, trees stay put, weather the changing seasons, provide shelter and food for all living things and never complain, two, if you’re not happy where you are, leave, you are not a tree. Amuse yourself in the balancing act of the universe.
25. When something hurts (situation) take a moment to create (space) before you reach for your phone (reaction). If you write is as a formula, it might look like this: S( )R. This can be as simple as, but not easy by any means, saying to the pain, “I will give you what you need (phone, social media, video game) if you first tell me what you want.” If you listen carefully, the pain often just wants your attention to come out to play.
26. Take your pain for a walk. Invite him to play. Ask her what makes her feel safe. Demons hate fresh air.
27. Turn your smartphone into a dumb phone.
28. Listen intently when someone is talking to you. If what they are saying is boring you, it’s because they are saying boring things for social safety. Ask interesting questions for interesting conversations. Say obviously wild and outlandish things: It gets a real reaction. Learn to poke at people gently until they crack, and tell you a thing or two that will change you forever.
29. Never look at your phone in a situation where it wouldn’t be appropriate to read a book.
30. Talk to everyone. The waitress, the cashier, the bus drive, the park attendant, the mom, the babbling baby. Everyone.
31. The best way to have a conversation with everyone is to blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. (Act like a child!) It is usually what everyone else is thinking anyway. You may think your childlike self is annoying and embarrassing, and it could be so act tactfully, but that is also your most curious, funny, and interesting self. This is what makes children a delight to be around: They are deeply themselves and we all instinctively appreciate and respect that. 
32. Wake up an hour early so you can spend half an hour with a book. Afterwards take the remaining half hour to write down what you learned in your own words, or reflect on a word or a sentence that resonated with you: This is my time spent offline morning practice.
33. If you use Apple computers, download the SelfControl app. Thank me later.
34. Take your lunch break outside. Leave your self-consciousness behind and embrace stillness. Ignore your phone.
35. Do not walk with your phone in your hands. It’s dumb. If you’re not using your phone, leave it in your bag or pocket.
36. Go to the museum and look at each piece with this question in mind: Does this art interest me? If it doesn’t interest you, say ‘god no,’ and move onto the next one. The more you are honest about what you like and don’t like, the better you can experience and enjoy the moment. If you are honest, you can even enjoy things you don’t like; “Ugh! what the fuck is this shit?” is fun, pretending to understand and enjoy Keith Haring isn’t.
37. When you don’t know what to do, do nothing. Pay attention to how the air feels on your skin.
38. Browse the $1 bin at bookstores.
39. Get most of your recommendations for things to buy, films to watch, restaurants to go to from people. Ask family, friends, the store clerk. Afterwards make sure to thank them for the recommendation if it’s good, and if not, gently banter about their bad taste in film, food, entertainment. People love it when you are real; like a child.
40. Your best bet is your intuition. I know, I know, but sometimes you just know, and 4.9 star review can still end up being the worst choice for you anyway. So might as well bet on your intuition to choose well.
41. Speaking of reviews, don’t read reviews for restaurants. Have other metrics to make a judgment for whether a restaurant is worth your money and belly: The menu, price, decoration/vibes, the # of patrons inside. If it ends up terrible, well charge it to experience.
42. Stare back at children that stare at you in public. Some will start crying feeling overwhelmed. Some will refuse to break eye contact until you feel overwhelmed. Don’t cry, do not show weakness.
43. Grab a notebook and a pen. Pick a word, any word, and write two pages of whatever comes to your mind about that word. Word ideas: Freedom, Caffeine, Time, Play, Hell Yeah/No. (Okay not a word, but you get the point)
44. Go to the movies. Yes, I count this as time spent offline. The effort is all there. Getting dressed, leaving the house, doing things outside. It doesn’t count if you are on your phone.
45. Do dishes by hand. You can’t scroll with wet, soapy hands. The dishwasher is an excellent dish rack (I invented this hack!— No, I saw it on YouTube.)
46. Spend time at the library leisurely browsing through the aisles to find whatever interests you. Remember, everything at the library is FREE. Loan all the books, magazines, DVDs, etc. your library card allows you to. No commitment required. If you don’t like something, just return it, just put it back in the return bin.
47. Find all the food festivals happening in your city, add what interests you to your calendar and invite anyone you think wouldn’t mind your company to go with you.
48. Take only one photo for memory sake. Most first take is good enough for memory sake, just not good enough for Instagram consumption.
49. Get your news from people. Call your dad, a friend, your sister-in-law and ask “So, what did I miss today?” I recently called my dad and said to him, “I’m bored! Any gossip?” And my dad said, “All is well. Justin Trudeau got divorced,” and that is how I found out my Prime Minster is single. At a dinner last winter, I found out our mayor had an affair. Oh, Canada. Plus, I have people in real time to process the news with; shock, gasp, exacerbated sighs, banters— “Everyone gets divorced now! What’s new!”
50. Borrow a kid(s). Take them to the playground, for a walk, to get ice cream and pay attention to them to learn how to play, and play well. Kids are the best teachers of how to live, and they do it effortlessly through play.
51. Sell your cleverness and embrace bewilderment.
52. Leave your phone at home once in a while, for shorter errands, plans, etc. Just because you can. You do. There is no requirement to bring your phone with you everywhere you go.What if there is an emergency? Based on reality, the chances of an emergency happening are 0.01%, and the chances of you scrolling to avoid the discomfort of reality are at 99.01%
53. When people send you long texts about something important, reply with, “holy shit, can I call you?” or “Omg, we’re def due for a hangout, are you available (time, date)?”
54. Better yet, just call them. Break the rules of a polite society and just show up for your friend. Anxiety might chime in and says what if I am annoying them with a phone call? So what! You are doing the right thing. They can ignore your call if they don’t feel like it.
55. Blurt out the first thing that comes to mind when you hear an interesting remark made in the wild. This is how you have the best conversations with strangers all the time.
56. You must appreciate small talk. Nobody wants to start a conversation with, “Gosh, I hate my wife, that fucking bitch.” The small talk about the weather, the dog, the food builds the rapport on which you can safely get into the big talk.
57. Of course, learn how to ask questions and listen intently so you can get to the big talk quicker. Nobody wants to get stuck in weather talk for hours. Yuck!
58. Host a picnic. Call it Pizza at the Park and add an activity, whatever you and your friends would enjoy doing outdoors. Invite people: “Hey, I’m planning a picnic at (park) (date) (time). There will be pizza, BYOB.” Bring a book in case nobody shows up. Either way, you got to spend time chilling outdoors, eating pizza, relaxing. Leftovers? Ask strangers if they would like a slice— You might make another friend.
59. Instead of looking down at your phone, look up! Learn to enjoy scanning your environment. Relax your face, your posture, your mind; look around, gaze at what catches your attention and look away quickly from what doesn’t.
60. Poop without your phone. Go back to tradition, read shampoo bottles instead.
61. When you want to reach for your phone without a good reason, take a few seconds to check in what your actual need is for reaching for your phone. Are you stressed out? Are you bored? Are you lonely? Are you afraid? If so, how can you self-soothe with better, dignified means?
62. If you are feeling overwhelmed, instead of ignoring yourself through scrolling, take a few moments to allow yourself to just be. You can always go back to scrolling, but give yourself a few moments of stillness.
63. If you feel lonely, make a list of people you want to hangout with and what things, activities you can do with them. Make the effort to connect with and ask for their company. time spent offline requires effort.
64. When you feel lonely, go through your Photos app to remind yourself of all the people in your life. If you don’t have many photos of people you love in your phone, cultivate living in community.
65. Commit to single tasking. If you’re reading a book, why are you on your phone? Just read the book.
66. Take longer showers. You can’t be on your phone in the shower. These small moments add up to training your brain to be without.
67. Quit the news. The news will find you anyway.
68. You want all that attention from others, but do you pay attention to yourself? Take a moment each day to pay undvided attention to yourself. Journaling is great for this. Or before sleep, instead of scrolling, pay compassionate attention to yourself; contemplate your day, how you’re feeling, how things are going in your life, and promise yourself you’ll take care of it tomorrow when you get up.
69. Quit social media. The global average for time spent on social media as of July 2022 is 2 hours and 29 minutes. Though the toughest of all, deleting social media is the simplest trick that works the best to minimize time spent online.
70. Host a dinner party instead.
71. Spend more time in water; a pool, a bath, a lake, a hot tub.
72. Kill your phone.
73. When you are without your phone, internet, laptop, etc. pay attention to how you feel, especially the positive feelings that come up; the ease of being. Our brain keeps track of things that feel good and wants more of it. The more you reinforce the positive benefits of unplugging by being aware of the positive feelings, the more your brain will start asking for those experiences instead.
74. “INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIVING A LIFE: Pay attention. Be astonished. Tell about it.”— Mary Oliver
75. When you are waiting for your coffee, chat with the barista instead of scrolling on your phone. Again, don’t over think it— comment on their cool shirt, how much you love the cute vibes in there, how you love their latte. If they are obviously ignoring you, just shut up. But some of the the most beautiful conversations happen with random strangers. Take chances!
76. Instead of scrolling while outside, notice birds doing bird things. Contemplate the following verse: “The believer looks at the birds in the sky, that do not reap nor gather into the barns, and trust that the Father will provide.” – Matthew 6:26 (Faith not required)
77. Buy yourself a ticket for a show. Text a friend, “Hey, I’m going to see (show) (date) (time) (link), if you’re interested.” People like joining things that are already happening.
78. Move your body; Dance, jump, roll, whatever.
79. TURN AUTOPLAY OFF.
80. Instead of tracking time spent online, track your time spent offline. Again, positive reinforcement works better than negative reinforcement. Celebrate the 10-minute you spent reading; ignore the 3 hours spent on YouTube. This is self-compassion. Learn to forgive yourself quick.
81. At the start of the month, Google (city) things to do and commit to 1 to 2 activities each week. Invite people. People appreciate you doing the work and being included in already-made plans.
82. Never text people “What are you doing this weekend?” Instead, text them “Want to do (activity) this (date) (time)?” Better yet, invite them to what is already happening. Get comfortable doing things solo.
83. Adopt the mantra: “Laugh, or log off.” 82% of the internet is rage-inducing content. This mantra is magic in motivating you to log off.
84. UNSUBSCRIBE. Be stingy with your inbox. Anything arriving in your inbox should be worthy of your time and attention. If you unsubscribe and realize you actually kind of really liked that newsletter, you can always subscribe again. If you unsubscribe and completely forget abut it, well…
85. Get up super early. Go to bed early. I rarely have the desire to scroll at 6:00am but after 10:00pm, the demons show up with all their neatly lined up excuses for self-destruction.
86. DF Tube (Distraction Free YouTube)
87. Become a proud appist. Delete all non-essential apps. Instagram is not essential. Your attention, and personal data, is not worth a free coffee, so ignore the Starbucks app too. Nobody said time spent offline would be easy.
88. Move all non-essential screen time to desktop/laptop. You can be on social media on your computer but not when you’re walking down the street. Notice the trees instead.
89. You know those people you see vibing to their own company— no phone, no headphones, nothing— at the checkout line, on the train, having coffee on a patio? Stare at them in awe, like a child. Aspire to be like them.
90. Find alternatives to Silicon Valley apps. Can you listen to records instead? What about using Kanopy for films or Hoopla for music and audiobooks? Or Meetup for connections?
91. Science says boredom is good for us. If you’re waiting for brilliance to strike, try getting bored first.
92. Cultivate an adventurous spirit. Ask: What would Mehret do? I would pack my picnic blanket, get on the bus and go to the park; then spread under a big oak tree and let the earth speak to me. Beats anything I have ever found online.
93. Scrolling is not resting. Repeat after me: SCROLLING IS NOT RESTING. To rest is to be present. To rest is to disconnect, tune out, tune in, relax, enjoy a moment to ourselves. Nothing can be further from resting than to be online, with its endless noise, all the negative/positive, happy/sad, good/bad, funny/disturbing content coming at us all at once. Online is anti-rest.
94. Go out into the world and search for people you can hold, touch, feel, smell. Taste. You can’t hold, touch, feel the avatars.
95. Be the crazy one.
96. You don’t want to be on your phone when you are in good company, trust me. Cultivate more relationships that make you forget your phone when you are in their company.
97. Spend time wandering.
98. Look at the sky.Try to describe the particular colours for that day. Sometimes it’s just navy blue. But other times let your mind surprise you with how much you want to see.  
99. Acknowledge that nothing really matters and yet every little thing matters. Be alone with your thoughts and find friends to talk to. Get some rest and some fresh air. Eat some chocolate but not too much. Listen to strangers like me, but maybe not too much.
100. Subscribe to time spent offline for more ideas on (re)discovering the pleasures of the offline world. (Duh!)