time spent offline

Evening starts when you are done all your tasks, chores, duties for the day, and there is the time that remains, that lull between dinner and sleep; too tired for anything productive, too wired for sleep, and so you fill it with the internet— Scroll, scroll, scroll. Because you are scrolling, because of the blue light, rage, and information overload, you are even more wired, sleep alludes you, and you scroll more. It’s a never-ending cycle, night after night, day after day. You know what to do, why don’t you do it? There is no good reason to be on the internet in the evenings anyway; the emails, texts, tweets, reposts, notifications all can wait until the next morning. It is this mind shift that has been helping me keep my laptop, phone, and the internet away from me in the evening: Tomorrow, it will all be there.

And when I check my email the next day, my phone notifications— no tweets and reposts though—  I’m reminded of the simple fact that nothing important really happens in my inbox, nothing that can’t wait until the next morning anyway. And it will be easy to lie and say, because of this new found understanding and realization, I now spend my evenings reading, doing puzzles, writing, meditating, going for evening walks, and all the other things they say we could be doing instead of scrolling. Maybe some day in the future, when I’m more disciplined for such things I will do so. But for now, I improvise. First thing you notice when you put the devices away, not interrupting the moment with checking, scrolling, tapping is that time becomes infinite; it slows down to unbearable speed, and you must learn to slow down with it.

I take all the time time in the world making dinner; clean up while the AirFryer is going, put dishes away, dance when my favourite song comes on. There’s nothing to glance at, no newsfeed to scroll through, so I keep my attention busy with ordinary household chores until dinner is ready, and you can get a lot done when you’re not passing time scrolling— Naturally. Beep. Once my dinner is ready, I plate it and I freak out: Eating with company is a natural way of things but no such luxury when you live alone. No internet, scrolling, noisy avatars to keep me company, but I don’t mind a show in the background. After dinner, I surrender. For the first 15 minutes or so it is very uncomfortable; to just be, to not know what the fuck to do without the internet.

But if you can manage those few moments without being too harsh on yourself, even perhaps remaining curious instead of judgmental, you slowly began to notice all the things you can do all around you: The unread latest issue from your magazine subscription, cutting out images from magazines to make your journal pretty, writing out that sentence that’s been nagging at you all day on your typewriter, making lists in your journal, and the best part, being still for a few moments in-between getting bored with one activity and deciding on the next one. Sleep comes easier when you’re offline, too.

Without the digital noise keeping your brain alert, your brains seems to be saying, I guess this is it then, time for bed. You passively obey, nothing better to do anyway so might as well try your luck at sleep. A life hack: A physical book is a safer alternative to sleeping pills—  Sleep that is no where to be found when you are scrolling on the internet is to arrive cheerfully and immediately within a page or two.

And this whole unplugged evening business can get very lonely, very quickly, especially if you live alone and spend all your 5 to 9s and evenings inside— You mustn’t. A phone call to someone you love, you miss, or been wondering about is a great alternative; just no internet, no scrolling, no noisy avatars. You must change your attitude towards your 5 to 9s too; It’s the perfect time to do activities, to go on searching for delight in reality, solo or with others. The city, towns, wherever you live, has plenty to do if you are willing to go out exploring, and without digital alternatives it becomes easier to do so. It’s best if you have a dumb smartphone; Out in the world with a dumb phone, you are untethered. Willpower is finite and the tools and tricks help minimize decision fatigue; Sorry, no choice. At the restaurant, you can ask for a physical menu instead and they are more than happy to bring you a copy; and I’m grateful that one time my friend joins in on asking for the unthinkable, Can we have a paper menu please?

And I’m grateful it is still possible to have my needs met: I’m not the crazy one here! After our delicious food and conversation, it’s past 10pm when we decide to head home. By the time I get home and think to check my email before I get ready for bed, I think to myself, I don’t do that anymore, my attention is reserved for important things, and I simply get ready for bed and tuck myself in with a book. Remember: A physical book is a safer alternative to sleeping pills—  sleep that is no where to be found when you are scrolling on the internet is first to arrive cheerfully just a page or two in. That’s a successful evening spent offline.