I wrote this article back in 2018, fresh out of school, after reading Susan Dynarski’s Laptops Are Great. But Not During a Lecture or a Meeting. Back when I was just beginning to take my time spent offline journey seriously. Five years later, I reflect fondly and with gratitude on the small and big changes, inspirations, and lessons that got me here.
(more…)Category: Attention
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Collateral Damage: Who’s to blame?
I notice it at the playground. The parent is engrossed in their phone and the child calls out: “Mom, mom, look! Mom! Look! Mom!” The parent barely looks up, disoriented by reality after being lost in a sea of digital content; “Oh wow, very cool, Jason,” and goes back to staring down. I want to scream. The child goes back to playing and I try to ignore what I briefly recognize on his lovely, tiny, innocent face: The pain of neglect, of lack of attention. Maybe I’m projecting, knowing neglect too well myself: I must be projecting. Then, I feel sad. I feel sad for the child. I feel sad for the parent. I feel sad for all of us enslaved by the attention machine.
I wonder, Who is to blame for iPad kids raised by iPhone parents? The parents? Silicon Valley? Apple? You? Me? All of us?
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100 ways to spend more time offline: Not your average list
I made this list for anyone who is also bored of the average things to do offline lists cluttering Google. I know who writes those things, just between you and I, *whispers* ChatGPT *shudders.* It has to be AI generated to be so boring, robotic, uninspiring, repetitive. I, too, got bored of such advice and went looking for my own answers. This list is 100% algorithm-free and made with deep appreciation for time spent offline, from my many years of relentless pursuit to find the pleasures of the offline world. Take what you need, leave the rest. ❤
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The relentless pursuit of time spent offline
Silicon Valley says I should download this app and that as if it is for my own good. Asks What is on your mind? as if we are besties, lovers, friends. Constantly nudges me with its cheap tricks to look, look, look! I say, no, no, no— hell no! I look to life desperately: Please help.
Life, willing to pay any price I ask of it, asks, “Are you sure this is the price you want to pay? Just so you’s sure, sweetheart.” Might as well, I say to no one in particular— a long, long time ago. Because if I know one thing, one thing for sure, the living is costly either way. I delete social media, quit the news, dumb down my smartphone. I try all the tips, tricks, and tools I read about online, in the books, the podcasts, and videos to unplug, disconnect, and spend less time online. Life shrugs and adjusts.
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With love, time spent offline
You think, foolishly, mistakenly, if you hate the internet, social media, your stupidly overpriced phone— Remember, you chose it— and yourself for spending yet another weekend scrolling through the deafening sounds of tik tok, tik tok, tik tok, a ticking time bomb, then you will finally be able to unplug, disconnect, and get offline. Lord knows you have read all the articles under the sun: The Internet holds an infinite amount of information. You listen to the experts and diligently follow their advice. You track your ScreenTime meticulously, try 30-Day No Internet Challenges, and even remove the addictive apps off of your stupidly smart smartphone some of the time. And you cannot wait until you are finally that person: No social media, no internet, no email, no smartphone. You are foolish, and perhaps delusional, of course. If it were that easy, if it only required the hate you give until you were freed from your addiction(s), then everyone would be offline/sober. Especially you of anyone else. But what has your hate accomplished so far? Where has all your effort in blocking, removing, abstinence, and self-loathing has gotten you? Maybe a few days of solace on that camping trip where the service was spotty anyway, but you were back at it by Monday morning, with coffee on one hand, the other tapping, scrolling, loathing— Yourself and Others— on your stupidly expensive and smart phone.
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S( )R
Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.
– Viktor FranklIf you wrote this quote as a formula, it might look like this: S( )R.
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20 lessons from 24 hours spent without screens
- I love my smartphone. I love GPS. I love my music apps- Hoopla and Apple Music. I love looking up the weather and knowing before it’s too late. I LOVE THE UBER APP— more on this later. I love iMessage and trying to beat the text bubble appearing before my punch line. And I love brain-dumping in my Notes app. That’s about what my dumb-smartphone can do.
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What is social media for?
This past weekend, I get a text from a friend asking to send her a picture of myself.
I jokingly reply, “you got a man for me?” and I send her a photo anyway. It’s a selfie another friend took of us back in September. I rarely take selfies, and do what with it? I see my face every morning, night, and in between. Later, I figure I probably came up in a conversation and my friend wanted to show a picture, to say this is the person I’m talking about. Usually, people pull up a person’s social media and say, here this person, but I’m not on social media. Maybe not. She texts me afterwards, “I need you to get on social media,” and I reply that will never happen. But it got me thinking: Will I ever get back on social media?
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Beyonce vs. ChatGPT
There are things one can understand without knowing, but I will try to explain myself anyway.
Here is a practical tip to start us off with— because I feel I have become too sensitive, overly emotional; my curse and blessing, of being a Cancer, a woman, this and that… they said it first, I picked it up afterwards— I use the SelfControl app to block the mindless, time-wasting websites on my laptop from Monday thru Saturday. Sundays I unblock everything for a short period of time; time dedicated for wasting time. It is just as crucial. My phone is dumb and useless at distracting me. You are welcome?
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How to get through the rough edges of life
Last week, I asked Tell me how do you get through a rough day, week, month, year, or even a lifetime? For a tip, a trick, an activity, a song, a ritual, et cetera. I was delighted to ask and receive. From you to me, to you. Thank you. (Edited for precision)
Books. When things are good, read devastating books about how cruel the world can be; it can be comforting to know others have survived worse lives. When things are bad, turn to what a sister librarian referred to as “potato chip books”— books so easy to read that you devour them without a second thought.
Appreciate the little things and go outside more. Look at nature; not just walking for the sake of it, but really looking around at nature and how it exists.
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time spent offline 