You think, foolishly, mistakenly, if you hate the internet, social media, your stupidly overpriced phone— Remember, you chose it— and yourself for spending yet another weekend scrolling through the deafening sounds of tik tok, tik tok, tik tok, a ticking time bomb, then you will finally be able to unplug, disconnect, and get offline. Lord knows you have read all the articles under the sun: The Internet holds an infinite amount of information. You listen to the experts and diligently follow their advice. You track your ScreenTime meticulously, try 30-Day No Internet Challenges, and even remove the addictive apps off of your stupidly smart smartphone some of the time. And you cannot wait until you are finally that person: No social media, no internet, no email, no smartphone. You are foolish, and perhaps delusional, of course. If it were that easy, if it only required the hate you give until you were freed from your addiction(s), then everyone would be offline/sober. Especially you of anyone else. But what has your hate accomplished so far? Where has all your effort in blocking, removing, abstinence, and self-loathing has gotten you? Maybe a few days of solace on that camping trip where the service was spotty anyway, but you were back at it by Monday morning, with coffee on one hand, the other tapping, scrolling, loathing— Yourself and Others— on your stupidly expensive and smart phone.
(more…)Category: Leisure
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Showing up for delight
I write this post with delight.
The day is still young— 10:18am on a Saturday to be exact. I sit at one of the computers at the public library and write these words. Before this, I have already had a delightful morning: An hour spent with The Forty Rules of Love— a book for anyone looking to love (No, not for love, but to love); another hour spent pouring my heart out on a $3 notebook; coffee. Besides checking my email habitually upon waking up, it is a morning of silence, solitude and contemplation— with just me, myself, and I. A delight, indeed. After I have exhausted myself with solitude and without the “internet,” I find myself itching for the outside world; to pay attention, notice, feel a thing or two. Sure, I can write from the comfort of my home; tiny, cozy, and safe from the outside world, and on a prohibitively expensive laptop— forgive me, Apple raised me— but what is the fun in that?
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Internet vs “internet,” and non-internet things
I am on the Internet.
In fact, I write this blog post and publish it online to share with whoever may read it because of the Internet. My work, an absolute dream come true, also requires me to be on the Internet; mostly to send communication emails, save files to shared drives, and search up important information to get my job done. The Internet is also where I look up grocery flyers and recipes, book tickets for shows and museums, and schedule my doctor’s appointments- all from the comfort of my couch. The Internet gets me places too; far and wide- from home to foreign places and back home again. In fact, the Internet is an absolute dream come true. Forgive my naivety, but how did anyone ever live without the Internet?
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Evenings spent in solitude
I feel stagnant. Life is going so well. When I make my complaints to my co-worker they kindly advise I try going out and trying new things: “But that’s the problem,” I groan, “I go out too much. I need to stay home.” And so I commit. This month, I’m spending my evenings at home, especially weekends but definitely weekdays too, tuned into the deafening silence of evenings spent offline; alone, in solitude. What can I learn from this moment? What can my solitude teach me? What is so bad about being alone— not “alone” while on the internet, but alone alone— anyway? What is so bad about my own company?
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Celebrating time spent offline
I love it here.
No, not here here but this little life of mine that the world said was impossible. Impossible to disconnect, impossible to unplug, impossible to spend time offline. And do what? Too late, they all shrugged, this is life now. Well, this is life for me now and seven years later, there is no going back. I have made my bed and I must celebrate.
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20 lessons from 24 hours spent without screens
- I love my smartphone. I love GPS. I love my music apps- Hoopla and Apple Music. I love looking up the weather and knowing before it’s too late. I LOVE THE UBER APP— more on this later. I love iMessage and trying to beat the text bubble appearing before my punch line. And I love brain-dumping in my Notes app. That’s about what my dumb-smartphone can do.
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time spent wandering
Nothing fun happens on the internet, so I learn little by little, I get used to getting used to. I get used to spending weekday evenings out and about because the alternative isn’t a social media feed with endless junk to scroll through until I pass out from exhaustion. The alternative is plenty of time, space, and void— Ample, endless, unrelenting— demanding to be filled with anything, anything but the deafening silence of solitude. So I learn little by little to search for stuff to do IRL, to make the effort reality requires; after work, before a workout class, after an evening out and the night is still young. A fitness instructor once said to me, You either learn to love the pain or love the result. I wonder, can you learn to love both?
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Planning for a day spent offline: Get curious
Not that long ago, I used to leave the house and go about my day in the wilderness of the city without a phone, without the Internet; without the ability to reach someone in case of an emergency.
It was a time before portable internet and smartphones.
It’s a funny thing the things you can get used to, and forget there ever being a time without: Without smartphones, without the Internet, without this, and without that. It’s not like I haven’t tried to be without since— here and there— but it came out of frustration, anger and spite, of an economy that bid my attention for sale to the highest bidder. I was simply young, idealistic, and pissed: this, too, passes with time. Lately, through the passage of time and growing, and realizing it’s mostly inconvenience rather than actual emergency that makes connectivity on the go such a necessity, I find myself curious about a day spent offline. In fact, I have learned to love my smartphone and the Internet these days but something about going out into the world without, when being without seems impossible, out of the question, even transgressive, that piques my interest and my curiosity to unplug.
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How to get through the rough edges of life
Last week, I asked Tell me how do you get through a rough day, week, month, year, or even a lifetime? For a tip, a trick, an activity, a song, a ritual, et cetera. I was delighted to ask and receive. From you to me, to you. Thank you. (Edited for precision)
Books. When things are good, read devastating books about how cruel the world can be; it can be comforting to know others have survived worse lives. When things are bad, turn to what a sister librarian referred to as “potato chip books”— books so easy to read that you devour them without a second thought.
Appreciate the little things and go outside more. Look at nature; not just walking for the sake of it, but really looking around at nature and how it exists.
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Feeding the second wolf
In every person there are two wolves who are always at war with each other. One is evil, the second one is good. Which wolf wins? “The one you feed.”
Each day, I wake up and face two wolves— Just like you. One whispers I should cancel the plan I have made that evening; it’s a first date and I have kindly turned down the usual “coffee or drinks?” offer, suggesting instead we check out an old theater I have been meaning to go to for months now. It’s the oldest standing movie theater in the city still in use for showing movies. I like the idea of going to watch old films in an even older building, but it has been difficult to find the time, interested parties, or the courage to go alone. Until I finally make plans to go see Rocky on a Wednesday at 7:00pm with a person I will meet for the first time.
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time spent offline 